fignewton: (sam janet fanfic)
Fig Newton ([personal profile] fignewton) wrote2011-08-17 09:51 pm

Chug When They Reverse the Polarity (G)

For [personal profile] green_grrl, who asked for "Janet gets girl time with Sam." Sam and Janet and the nature of movie choices. No spoilers (outside Cassie's existence), any season. 550 words. Rated G.

Chug When They Reverse the Polarity

Sam turned smoothly into the parking lot of Blockbuster Videos and parked the red Mustang. As she switched off the ignition, she cast a sidelong glance at the woman in the passenger seat. Janet had already kicked off her shoes, propped her stockinged feet on the dashboard, and was studying the label of the bottle of vodka they'd purchased at their previous stop. Sam could almost see little coils of tension unwinding themselves as Janet's mouth tipped up into a smile.

Yes, this was a good idea. After a week of lockdown, fighting an alien infection that rampaged through the SGC, Janet deserved some down time. She sent a mental message of thanks to Jack and Daniel for volunteering to take Cassie for the day as their contribution to the cause.

"What kind of movie should we get?" Sam asked after a minute of peaceful silence.

Janet tilted the seat back as far as it could go, closing her eyes against the afternoon sunshine that slanted across her face. "It depends," she answered sleepily. "What kind of entertainment are we looking for?"

Sam absently twirled the key ring on her finger. "You mean chick flick, action flick, science fiction, or what?"

"No, not that." Janet opened one eye as her smile morphed into a wicked grin. "We have to decide if we want to enjoy the movie, or enjoy mocking it."

"What...? Oh!" Sam, catching on, felt an equally evil smile spread across her own face. "So, we either avoid any movie that's about anything medical..."

"...or military..." Janet chimed in.

"...or scientific," Sam continued. "Or we deliberately pick up some movies that do pretend to be good at the medical or military or scientific, and spend the whole time pointing and laughing at the screen."

The two women looked at one another for a moment.

"He flatlined!" Janet suddenly squeaked in a falsetto. "Get the defibrillator!"

"Really loud explosions in space!" Sam countered. "With lots of shooting flames!"

"Doctors that feel for pulses in the wrong place, and perform CPR at the wrong speed."

"Shot by a revolver and thrown backward ten feet," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

They looked at each other again and laughed.

"I know which option gives us more choices," Janet said, moving her chair back to a sitting position.

"It's not as if we'll find a movie that actually portrays any of those subjects with even the slightest bit of accuracy," Sam agreed.

"And if we go with Option One, we won't have the opportunity for drinking games whenever someone breaks the laws of physics or physiology," Janet added, with the air of scoring a point.

Sam snorted. "Is that supposed to be an advantage or a disadvantage? Speaking as my doctor, I mean. With you, it's sometimes hard to tell."

"Speaking as your doctor," Janet drawled, taking her feet off the dashboard and fumbling for her shoes, "we are both in dire need of a good drink or five. So I'd put that in the 'advantage' category."

"I'll take that prescription, thank you." Sam opened her car door, then paused as a sudden thought struck her. "Hey, do you think we could find a movie that mangles all three subjects at once?"

"We can certainly try," Janet said cheerfully. "Come on, let's go!"


stat tracker for tumblr

lokei: (silliness noted)

[personal profile] lokei 2011-08-18 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
*grin* I know you wrote this for green_grrl, but I had to do a little happy dance when I read it, because 'mocking the movie science' was one of the prompts I left for the friendathon. *does another happy dance* This was exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for! (My favorite bit was tied between 'shot by a revolver' and 'really loud explosions in space!')

Thanks for the giggle to start my day.
draco_somnians: (Default)

[personal profile] draco_somnians 2011-08-18 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
LMAO! Brilliant! :D
thothmes: Janet Fraiser,laughing behind her hand, "LOL" (Janet LOL)

[personal profile] thothmes 2011-08-19 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
I really enjoyed this one because I go through life noting how many actors have lousy swimming strokes (Tom Selleck, Katherine Hepburn, and RDA, and Cliff Simon - who was an Olympic swimmer for South Africa - are exceptions that prove the rule). It's gotten to the point where if there is any swimming, my husband will just turn and look right at the start of the scene, because he knows the muttering will be coming.

Now I'm going to be driving off on our weekend jaunt tomorrow trying to come up with a list of films that will allow them to scoff at all three areas.
Edited (Mee??? Proofread???) 2011-08-19 05:46 (UTC)
beatrice_otter: SG-1--Walter in his seat, sparks flying. (Walter)

[personal profile] beatrice_otter 2011-08-20 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
Heh. Awesome moment for the two of them.