Sunday, October 15th, 2017 07:46 pm
So it turns out I'll be home for Thanksgiving for the first time in almost a decade after all!
I live half a continent away from my family, and I only get four weeks of vacation per year. (More precisely, four SUNDAYS of vacation per year.) It generally works out to one at Christmas, one in early spring, and two in late summer. Between Thanksgiving being murder for flying, and how close it is to Christmas, I generally just stay at home. And because going to someone else's family holiday dinner, particularly when you are their pastor, is hella awkward and cooking a holiday meal for one is just depressing, I generally don't have any kind of celebration that day.
Well! This year, I have a new niece, who is SO PRECIOUS, FOLKS, and who had the good taste to be born on my birthday. Given that her father (my brother) does shift work at a power plant, and my parents own their own business which has a very irregular schedule, and my own schedule is rather complicated, arranging dates for such an event is ... difficult. So in late August/early September, we were discussing things, and there were not many Sundays that would work for everybody, and none at all until November. Then it occurred to me that if it were scheduled for either the Sunday before or the Sunday after Thanksgiving, I could be home for Thanksgiving! And said as much. And Mom said she would check if the Sunday before would work, but that sounded good, and she would let me know, and if it couldn't be then, they should probably just see if they could schedule it for the Sunday after Christmas when I am normally home anyway.
I heard nothing. For a month and a half. I assumed that it hadn't worked for November, and would be after Christmas.
In a phone call today, my Mom asked me if I had my plane ticket home for Thanksgiving yet.
"You know, for the baptism."
"We're doing it in November?"
"Of course we are!"
"Does ... does [brother] know? Does [sister-in-law]?"
Apparently, after getting everybody's responses that yes, the day would work, she just assumed that everybody knew that it had been scheduled for that date, without telling everybody that yes, it worked for everybody. I love my Mom, but she does this. She will schedule things and not tell people. She knows how everything fits together, and so she just assumes that everyone else knows too. Even when you ask her directly, sometimes she'll leave out crucial information because she'll assume that either you don't need to know it or you already know it because it should be obvious.
My Dad loves Google Calendar. It's the first time in their marriage that he's been able to figure out what's going on ahead of time, because Mom uses it religiously and now everything is in one place. Instead of in five different places, one of which is inside her head.
This is definitely an emotional labor issue, but at the same time ... scheduling is not the exclusive province of my mother because Dad doesn't want to help and participate, okay?
Anyway, now I have a plane ticket home and the good news is that I will be home for Thanksgiving!