Ficlet request: Spectator Sport (G)

[fignewton]

This one is for trindajae, who wanted Sam and Jack and "I could warn him... But then it wouldn't be as funny." Takes place in Season 5, probably. Word count: ~550

Spectator Sport

 

The man had all the arrogance and bad manners and immaturity of Rodney McKay.

 

And those were his good qualities. McKay, at least, came by his arrogance honestly.

 

Sam watched as Dr. Rudolph Trabenburg pontificated at length to the welcoming committee from P4X-037. He spoke loudly and slowly, which he apparently assumed would compensate for his inability to speak the native language.

 

She heard a familiar footfall, and then the colonel came to a halt at her side.

 

"Carter," he greeted her.

 

"Sir," she acknowledged absently, not looking away from the spectacle twenty meters away.

 

"Having fun?"

 

She did look away, then, to glance in his direction. His face was alive with humor as he watched her.

 

"Yes," she admitted. She waved a covert hand in Trabenburg's direction. "It's kind of like watching a train wreck in slow motion, actually."

 

"Now, Major," he drawled. "Surely you jest! I would be astonished to learn that Doctor Trabenburg failed to consult with you about the Doori."

 

"Prepare to be astonished, sir," Sam said lightly. "Trabenburg isn't exactly one for consultation."

 

He hadn't bothered to ask if the Doori could speak English.

 

They could.

 

He'd assumed, after one look at their simple homespun and leather, that they had no technological understanding.

 

They did.

 

Trabenburg was gesturing back at the Stargate now, his hands miming the kawhoosh. The Doori's poker faces were slowly morphing into incredulous anger, but Trabenburg was oblivious.

 

"He's trying to tell them about the wormhole and the apple?" O'Neill guessed.

 

"Apparently."

 

"You did mention in your briefing, Carter, that the Doori think quantum mathematics is kindergarten stuff?"

 

"They are definitely light years ahead of us, yes, sir," Sam said.

 

He gave her a keen look, then pretended that the pun had gone right over his head. "So, if he didn't bother listening to the briefing, he probably didn't read the report, either."

 

"No, sir, he probably didn't."

 

"Which means that Trabenburg doesn't know that Panni there," O'Neill nodded at the young woman standing directly opposite Trabenburg, "has earned the equivalent of three or four doctorates by our standards."

 

"Since he's trying to teach her how to work the DHD, I think we can safely assume that."

 

He rocked back on his heels. "Didn't Daniel say that the Doori intelligentsia tend to settle academic disagreements by brawling?"

 

Sam ducked her head a little to hide her smile. "Something like that, yes."

 

O'Neill eyed Trabenburg, who had barely fulfilled the minimum physical fitness requirements for offworld travel. "He's going to be kissing dirt," he predicted.

 

"If he doesn't buy a clue in the next thirty seconds," Sam agreed sweetly. Trabenburg's chauvinistic, patronizing attitude extended far beyond the Doori. He'd actually called her "little lady" when she'd tried to speak to him before the mission. "I don't think he will, though."

 

"Not going to try and stop it, Carter?"

 

"Oh, I could warn him," Sam conceded. This time she didn't bother to hide the slow grin that spread across her face as she watched Trabenburg condescendingly pat Panni's shoulder. "But then it wouldn't be as funny."

 

"There is that," the colonel agreed. He settled his cap more firmly on his head. "Shall we go and get a ringside seat?"

 

"Yes, sir!"

 

Sam hummed under her breath as the two of them strolled towards the impending explosion. Little moments like this, she decided, were definitely to be treasured.

Comments

[pepper-field.livejournal.com]

Haha! Ah, I like Sam's evil side. A very nice setup for that line. *g*

Anyone who calls Carter "little lady" deserves all they get, really.

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Hee, yes! Quite a fun prompt, really. :)

Glad you liked it!

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

Muahahaha! Sam is so evil. And I love Jack aiding and abetting her evilness.

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Ah, but it's fully deserved evil, in this case. And she's not actually abetting. She's just... letting it happen by omission. :)

And yeah, Jack would definitely bring the popcorn!

[trindajae.livejournal.com]

Your icon is also joy. May I poach it?

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

By all means! Just give credit where it's due, to the ever-talented nomadicwriter! And check out the rest of her icons - she's got some super fantastic ones.

[trindajae.livejournal.com]

Your icon! It is joy! May I poach it?

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

Sure, go ahead and poach! It's a line from one of my parody scripts.

[trindajae.livejournal.com]

YAY! Thanks!

[beanpot.livejournal.com]

Oh this is fantastic. I love the Sam and Jack friendship and just watching the whole mess unfold.

Excellent.

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Sam and Jack friendship is such a rarity! The prompt was a great excuse.

Thanks for the feedback!

[aurora-novarum.livejournal.com]

Sam and Jack friendship! Sam and Jack friendship! WHEEE!!!!!! I'm all a-joy! (if that's not a word, it should be!)

And how nice to see another SGC scientist, even if he is a pompous ass. I just hope it doesn't damage other relationships with the Doori. I'm picturing Sam treating Panni to a drink later. Or perhaps Jack buying for them both.

Their banter was just so much fun. Yay!

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Oh, as if I didn't expect you to be excited about Sam and Jack friendship! :)

I just hope it doesn't damage other relationships with the Doori.

I imagine that the sight of Sam and Jack cheering from the sidelines will smooth things over. ;)

So glad you liked it!

[trindajae.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. This was exactly what I needed. No sap, just fun.

You rock.

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Yay! Glad you liked it. :)

[skydiver119.livejournal.com]

rotflolol

cute, very, very, very cute

go sam go

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[naelany.livejournal.com]

I love it!

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[odakota-rose.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnort* I almost feel sorry for what's his name. No wait, I don't, that was my stomach growling as I laughed myself into a coma..
Oh well, carry on, that was hilarious! ;)

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Hee! So glad you liked it! And no, I don't feel sorry for the guy at all. :)

[odakota-rose.livejournal.com]

*g* Didn't think so.
And may I say I absolutely love that icon of yours? Adorable..

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Oh, the icon of Daniel squee is universally loved. :) Like this teamy goodness one, it's the brilliant brainchild of littlekfru, and you should check out her stepthrough because it is hilarious.

[odakota-rose.livejournal.com]

*g* I've had the hardest time finding stepthrough icons, thanks for the info, I'll go look! :D