Monday, March 9th, 2009 07:20 pm
Happy belated birthday to [livejournal.com profile] annerbhp, who brings glee and squee even to gen fans who don't go for the stupid cute! :D

And since, in her last icon comment challenge, she mentioned how much she'd enjoy reading a gen team cuddling fic... Well, here we are. :)

Summary: The team has to act as a family to gain mineral rights. It's amazing how often Teal'c pwns the rest of the team, even when cuddling is involved. ~620 words. Rated G.

Undercover

"This is not my fault!" Daniel hissed.

"Yes, it is."

"I told you - the Xrvigs don't even have a word for 'team'! They do everything within family units. So when I called us a team, they just assumed..."

"Oh, great. So we're all married instead," Sam snarled, deliberately resting her icy feet on Daniel's bare leg.

He yelped and squirmed. "No! Not married, Sam. Family."

"And the family that sleeps together, gets mineral rights together," Jack snarked. He tried to tug an edge of the blanket towards him, but Teal'c's grip was immovable.

"Would you care to rephrase that? Sir?"

Jack hastily flapped his hands in apology, only to receive twin howls of protest in return as he let in an extra draft of cold air. "Sorry, sorry," he muttered. "Just thinking of how much fun Frasier is going to have when she hears about this. Pretty sure she's going to win the pool."

"It's just a ritual, okay?" Daniel grumbled. "We spend the night in this room -"

"This subterranean, freezing closet, without any of our gear," Sam corrected coldly. "Not to mention our boots. Or our pants!"

"We spend one night in relative discomfort," Daniel snapped. "It proves to the Xrvigs that we're a family unit. And they put us here because it's the entrance to the mines we've been asking about! It's symbolic. Just like the family thing."

"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives," Jack sighed. He gave up on Teal'c's side of the blanket. Trying to steal some of Sam's would be tantamount to suicide, so he tried to appropriate part of Daniel's instead.

Daniel eyed him and said sweetly, "Keep that up, Jack, and I will tell the Xrvigs that we're married. All four of us."

Jack hastily let go.

"Really, you guys," Daniel added with exasperation. "Would it kill you to pretend to be family, for just a couple of hours?"

"Look, it's not that I'm really arguing with the sentiment," Sam tried. "I do think of you guys as family, I do." She shifted a little closer to Teal'c, wondering if his symbiote was anything like a hot water bottle. "But this whole prove-we're-family thing is just -"

"I must disagree with you, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c interjected.

Daniel raised his brows with surprise. Teal'c had been remarkably quiet throughout all the squabbling, even for him, and he'd hoped that the Jaffa had taken refuge from all the nonsense in the peacefulness of kel no reem. "Really, Teal'c? What about?"

"No subterfuge is necessary. I do, indeed, look upon you all as family."

Daniel blinked. "Oh. Well. Thank you, Teal'c," he said. "That's - that means a lot to me, and to Sam and Jack, too."

"It certainly does," Sam agreed heartily.

"Course it does," Jack said, giving Teal'c an affectionate slap on the arm and surreptitiously trying to tug on the blanket again.

"Were you not my family," Teal'c continued with unruffled calm, "I would have hurled all three of you to the floor long ago, and spent the night alone in this bed in relative comfort."

Jack carefully released his grip on the blanket. Sam edged an inch or two back. Daniel licked his lips, and stopped squirming.

Teal'c nodded at each of them in turn and closed his eyes again.

When the Xrvig leader arrived in the morning, surrounded by the family members that made up the ruling council, she found the three human members of SG-1 piled in a sleeping heap around the serene, upright Jaffa.

"Such a cute family," she cooed.

Teal'c could not quite suppress the smile that twitched at the corners of his mouth as he looked down at his sleeping friends. "Indeed."


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Monday, March 9th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)
Hee! Total pwnage! I can definitely see this happening--the blanket-stealing, the snuggling, the utter acknowlegment of Teal'c pwnage. Yes. *nods*
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
Can you write about Teal'c without pwnage? :D Glad you liked it!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:00 pm (UTC)
I don't believe that anyone but Teal'c would end up with the blanket. ;)
Happy Birthday,Annerbhp!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
Well, would you steal a blanket from Teal'c?! You have to admire Jack's ability to even try... :)
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC)
Indeed you do! That takes some brass!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
Teal'c would definitely get the blanket :) And yay for gen-cuddling--my favorite kind of cuddles!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
Hee - of course he would! And yes, gen-cuddling is my favorite too. :)
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
"Were you not my family," Teal'c continued with unruffled calm, "I would have hurled all three of you to the floor long ago, and spent the night alone in this bed in relative comfort."

Teal'c pwns. Every time. *glees* Utter win!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
Teal'c is just awesome, all round. ::nod nod:: Glad you liked!
Thursday, March 12th, 2009 04:04 am (UTC)
I can totally hear him saying that in my head!
Thursday, March 12th, 2009 08:13 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked it. :)
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:30 pm (UTC)
*hearts*
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
::grins::
Monday, March 9th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Teal'c FTW, as always. ;-) And I like Daniel's "Would it kill you to pretend to be family, for just a couple of hours?" LOL! Lots of love, but the squabbling defines them just as much. Very cute ficlet!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
Heh, yes - Teal'c is always for the win! :) And this does sum them up perfectly: lots of love, love of squabbling. Glad you liked it!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 07:47 pm (UTC)
Love Teal'c. Love this.
Monday, March 9th, 2009 08:03 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you! :)
Monday, March 9th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
Very sweet. I especially love the struggling for the blanket.
Monday, March 9th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
That bit was specifically on Annerb's list. :) Aren't they just delicious?
Monday, March 9th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
Hee!! Teal'c rules the roost, no matter what! :D I loved this!!
Monday, March 9th, 2009 10:17 pm (UTC)
Hee hee! Yes, he does! So glad you liked it. :)
Monday, March 9th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC)
BWhahah! Oh, Teal'c. You are master of the universe. Thank you so much, this is lovely. *pinches the stupid-cute-team's cheeks* Aren't they just adorkable?
Monday, March 9th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
Hah, yes! Master of the Universe, indubitably!

They are indeed all adorkable, and I'm very very happy you enjoyed your giftlet. :D
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
T!
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
Yay!
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 10:35 am (UTC)
"Were you not my family," Teal'c continued with unruffled calm, "I would have hurled all three of you to the floor long ago, and spent the night alone in this bed in relative comfort."

Jack carefully released his grip on the blanket. Sam edged an inch or two back. Daniel licked his lips, and stopped squirming.


Heheh. So very them.
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 11:14 am (UTC)
Aren't they just delicious? :D So glad you liked it!
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
I sent a link to this story to a friend who isn't on lj. She loved the story but wrote back and asked "what is pwnage?" and while I think I know from context, I don't know an actual definition--can you help me out with this?

Thanks--and thanks again for the funny story, which I loved!

Melissa M.
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much - not just for enjoying the fic, but reccing it onwards! :)

I first learned about pwnage two years ago, when I wrote another Teal'c-trumps-team fic and the term was used in the comments. As far as I understand it, it's a gamer twist on the word "own" - to pwn is to own someone, to completely triumph over them. In other circles, it seems to have a connotation of humiliating the opponent by defeating them so thoroughly, but in our lovely little fandom, it's mostly a case of someone coming out on top of a situation by virtue of their absolute awesomeness.

...At least, that's my take on it. :)
Thursday, March 12th, 2009 04:31 am (UTC)
IIRC, gamers typing, e.g., "My Elf so owns your Orc ass!" would hit the p key instead of the o. Eventually, the spelling "pwn" became slang for total domination of an opponent or one person's overwhelming superiority of skill -- or character, strategy, sexiness, whatever -- over others.
Thursday, March 12th, 2009 08:15 am (UTC)
That's what I understood, yes. And I'd use the latter explanation - overwhelming skill - rather than domination of an opponent when I refer to Teal'c pwnage. To each their own interpretation, I suppose. :)
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Excellent!

These aliens have clearly never seen Brothers & Sisters!!!
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :) So glad you liked it.
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
*dissolves in Teal'c love*
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
Isn't he just delicious? :)
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 01:25 am (UTC)
Brothers and sisters always! Teal'c would know. *nods sagely*
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
Of course he does - he knows everything! :D
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 05:01 am (UTC)
Sounds just like a family to me :)
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
A delightfully dysfunctional one, yes. :D
Thursday, March 12th, 2009 04:40 am (UTC)
Is there any other kind? ;D
Friday, March 13th, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
You really DO hear Teal'c's voice in your head!

Superb!!
Monday, March 16th, 2009 12:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you! That's a really lovely compliment. :)
Saturday, April 4th, 2009 04:59 am (UTC)
Yep, Teal'c will always have ownership of the blankies :D
Sunday, April 5th, 2009 10:01 am (UTC)
Teal'c is just that awesome. What can we say? :D